How to attract an office geek
Question: I have a weird question and feel like I should be writing Dear Abby, but she doesn’t know anything about computers. Maybe you could help. I am very attracted to this guy at the office who works in our computer department. We’ve said “hi” a few times, but not much more than that. I think I should ask him some intelligent computer questions or something. How does a gal like me go about picking up a computer geek (he’s a cute geek!) without coming across like an idiot? I know WordPerfect and Windows but that’s about it. — S.C.
Answer: Men are simple creatures. But you probably know that. Geek men are a shade more complex because their most evolved organ is their brain. Simply put, they’re very bright. Stimulate his gray matter and he will probably look up from his terminal at you. This is a massive accomplishment. Get him talking, and you’re on your way to a first date.
“Most geeks like to talk computers to the extent that they’re happy listening to themselves talk,” reasoned Joel Evans, Geek Manager at UGeek magazine, a website publication.
The key is finding an opening line.
“Hi again. Would you like this free box of Twinkies?” might work, as geeks love to eat and experiment with Hostess products. (See the fabulous T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. project.)
Maybe the food approach may be a little superficial. He might see it as suspect. People bearing edible treats in the computer room usually means that a boss somewhere can’t print. Spending more than 15 minutes within 10 feet of a whiny MBA gives most geeks asthma attacks. That’s bad.
A better approach comes from interviews with a variety of self-professed geeks.
“I enjoy explaining and talking about computers and computer-related subjects, as long as the person I am talking to is relatively bright,” said Evans. “If she is the type of person that just doesn’t get it, then I would find her frustrating (unless she’s really cute, of course).”
As you can see, we geeks can be as shallow as the next man, but don’t despair if you weren’t a varsity cheerleader – your mind is a far more effective weapon than dusty pom-poms.
The good news, says Evans, is that if you “can learn new things relatively quickly, then that is a different story … have her ask anything she is interested in that’s computer-related.”
Said another local geek: “Whatever you do, don’t act computer-stupid. Seems to me that most computer people want nothing to do with idiots, especially in a relationship.”
Considering that, you might want to do a little advanced research to prepare. “If she wants to be a little more informed or has no idea where to start, have her look on the Internet for a few hours. She must have a friend who is on the Internet,” said Evans. Check out www.news.com, www.pcworld.com or even Evans’ site, www.ugeek.com.
That brings up a good point. Approaching him in his work environment within the proximity of other geeks can be troublesome, since male geeks get very goofy around women, especially when other male geeks are within earshot.
“Why not ask him to have a cup of coffee during a break and learn more about him?” suggested my pal Janee Pennington, a conference organizer in Seattle who often advises lovelorn Microsofties.
“There is nothing like being honest and direct. I believe the best thing for this young office love monster is to simply ask him the questions that she so longs to answer herself.
“She will be able to tell just about everything from his response of meeting her away from the office environment.”
If a face-to-face rendezvous request is not for you, try e-mail.
“Stereotypically, geeks are shy. If she asks him out in person, he might stutter, realize he was being stupid, and scurry away,” advised Manni Wood, a Boston-based programmer. “Via e-mail, he has time to compose himself and his letter.”